High school is a difficult time for everyone. Your hormones turn you into a passenger along for the ride in a body that's going completely nuts and your skin turns from "Smooth" featuring Rob Thomas to "Monster" featuring Jay-Z and Rick Ross. In the middle of this train wreck you're around adult, grown women every day that know as much about you as anyone else, and obviously you're going to develop a bit of a crush on a few of them. Here the 8 types of teachers you definitely had a crush on at some point
*1. The One That Barely Seemed Old Enough To Be A Teacher*We all had that one teacher that you could've sworn was a student that decided she'd just stand in front of the class and see if she could get away with pretending to work there. Usually she was really sweet, but also sort of dumb? Guys would say flirty or even inappropriate things to her and she would just laugh with a vacant, confused look on her face and say something like, "Haha you guys are so funny. What does that mean?" She also taught some ridiculous class like Introduction to Letters or How To Tie Knots.
*2. The One That Was So Intelligent You Became Entranced*On the other side of that, there was the teacher that was so smart, she could've had an arm growing out of her face and you still would be drooling over her in the back of the class. You knew if you ever declared your love to her, she'd be appreciative, but would also correct your semicolon use and question the narrative of your letter. That would just make you swoon even harder.
*3. The Hip, Cool Teacher That Plays By Her Own Rules*She was basically Michelle Pfeiffer in "Dangerous Minds." She was somewhat attractive and usually had hair long enough that she could brush out of her face when she was grading papers, which is embedded in your brain for eternity. One time she got so passionate about you getting better grades that she accidentally cursed. If it weren't a crime and you weren't a terrified 14-year-old wearing Simpsons novelty boxer shorts, you would've swept all those scantrons off her desk and made out with her hardcore right then and there.
*4. The One That Simply Ignores All The Rules*You weren't even sure how she got a job as a teacher, because she definitely doesn't care about it at all. She's the equivalent of the bad boy in a '90s sitcom wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses at all times, and has a toothpick behind his ear. Is it a clean toothpick? Who cares? He's a rebel. You definitely saw her smoking on school property more than a few times, and there's a good chance she offered you one at some point. Every other week she would come in, clearly hungover, and would let the class have a movie day. Your crush eventually wore off when you realized she was a bit of an alcoholic, or when she started dating your dad.
*5. The One That Knows About Sports*Remember the first time you realized there was a grown woman that knew more about sports than you? It wasn't a feeling of inferiority; it was instant love. Imagine Michelle Beadle from ESPN with an art history degree. Unfortunately, she was married to one of the coaches who taught some ridiculous class like Table Sanding 101. You're probably friends with her on Facebook and check in every once in a while to see if they've split up. Now they have grandchildren, but you'll always remember her as the first person to explain how the NFL quarterback rating system works. You still can't see an interception thrown without thinking about her in those tiny little reading glasses.
*6. The Divorcée*Over the summer you found out she got a divorce from her husband and you knew the one thing she was looking for was a romantic encounter with a puberty-stricken "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" fan that practiced French kissing on a Cabbage Patch Doll. Fortunately for you, and the family attorney, you never actually made a move, but that doesn't mean you didn't just so happen to name that Cabbage Patch with the paint peeled off the lips after her.
*7. The One That Wears Skirts*She could have been a troll that crawled from under a bridge and ate live cats during lectures. When you're 15 and there's an adult woman wearing a skirt, you're ready to marry that stunning, feline-consuming creature.
*8. The Substitute*You know that terrible, creepy James Blunt song "You're Beautiful" about seeing a woman on the subway with her husband or boyfriend and spending the whole ride having a delusional fantasy about what your lives would be like together? You weren't quite as creepy as that, but when this random angel was selected to come in and read a book while your class did busy work, you knew she was sent there to be the love of your life. She wasn't. She was there because she answered an ad online and didn't have anything better to do. But in your mind you'd go home after school with her and do some sweet, sweet smooching until you had to excuse yourself to tuck that adorable, little boner into your waistband so she wouldn't notice it. Ah, to be young and completely ignorant again.
Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments Reported by Asylum 10 hours ago.
*1. The One That Barely Seemed Old Enough To Be A Teacher*We all had that one teacher that you could've sworn was a student that decided she'd just stand in front of the class and see if she could get away with pretending to work there. Usually she was really sweet, but also sort of dumb? Guys would say flirty or even inappropriate things to her and she would just laugh with a vacant, confused look on her face and say something like, "Haha you guys are so funny. What does that mean?" She also taught some ridiculous class like Introduction to Letters or How To Tie Knots.
*2. The One That Was So Intelligent You Became Entranced*On the other side of that, there was the teacher that was so smart, she could've had an arm growing out of her face and you still would be drooling over her in the back of the class. You knew if you ever declared your love to her, she'd be appreciative, but would also correct your semicolon use and question the narrative of your letter. That would just make you swoon even harder.
*3. The Hip, Cool Teacher That Plays By Her Own Rules*She was basically Michelle Pfeiffer in "Dangerous Minds." She was somewhat attractive and usually had hair long enough that she could brush out of her face when she was grading papers, which is embedded in your brain for eternity. One time she got so passionate about you getting better grades that she accidentally cursed. If it weren't a crime and you weren't a terrified 14-year-old wearing Simpsons novelty boxer shorts, you would've swept all those scantrons off her desk and made out with her hardcore right then and there.
*4. The One That Simply Ignores All The Rules*You weren't even sure how she got a job as a teacher, because she definitely doesn't care about it at all. She's the equivalent of the bad boy in a '90s sitcom wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses at all times, and has a toothpick behind his ear. Is it a clean toothpick? Who cares? He's a rebel. You definitely saw her smoking on school property more than a few times, and there's a good chance she offered you one at some point. Every other week she would come in, clearly hungover, and would let the class have a movie day. Your crush eventually wore off when you realized she was a bit of an alcoholic, or when she started dating your dad.
*5. The One That Knows About Sports*Remember the first time you realized there was a grown woman that knew more about sports than you? It wasn't a feeling of inferiority; it was instant love. Imagine Michelle Beadle from ESPN with an art history degree. Unfortunately, she was married to one of the coaches who taught some ridiculous class like Table Sanding 101. You're probably friends with her on Facebook and check in every once in a while to see if they've split up. Now they have grandchildren, but you'll always remember her as the first person to explain how the NFL quarterback rating system works. You still can't see an interception thrown without thinking about her in those tiny little reading glasses.
*6. The Divorcée*Over the summer you found out she got a divorce from her husband and you knew the one thing she was looking for was a romantic encounter with a puberty-stricken "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" fan that practiced French kissing on a Cabbage Patch Doll. Fortunately for you, and the family attorney, you never actually made a move, but that doesn't mean you didn't just so happen to name that Cabbage Patch with the paint peeled off the lips after her.
*7. The One That Wears Skirts*She could have been a troll that crawled from under a bridge and ate live cats during lectures. When you're 15 and there's an adult woman wearing a skirt, you're ready to marry that stunning, feline-consuming creature.
*8. The Substitute*You know that terrible, creepy James Blunt song "You're Beautiful" about seeing a woman on the subway with her husband or boyfriend and spending the whole ride having a delusional fantasy about what your lives would be like together? You weren't quite as creepy as that, but when this random angel was selected to come in and read a book while your class did busy work, you knew she was sent there to be the love of your life. She wasn't. She was there because she answered an ad online and didn't have anything better to do. But in your mind you'd go home after school with her and do some sweet, sweet smooching until you had to excuse yourself to tuck that adorable, little boner into your waistband so she wouldn't notice it. Ah, to be young and completely ignorant again.
Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments Reported by Asylum 10 hours ago.